5 pounds gone.

I lost five pounds in the month of July. Pretty good, I would have to say. and it got me thinking. If I lost 5lbs a month for a year, that would be -60 lbs and that would be FANTASTIC. Also, It didnt take very much for me to lose that 5 lbs, so it should be pretty easy for me to keep it up and off. the one main key I have seen in the last two months is that I have cut out MILK in mostly everything. I used to get non fat mochas almost daily, and then I realized that is a shit ton of milk! So i switched it up to an Americano with a little bit of cream and two raw sugars... and it has worked very well. While I still splurge here and there and get either a mocha or a latte, its a great alternative. I think it's just about finding a HEALTHIER alternative to things.

GAR!

I am very discouraged. Maybe it's because I stepped on the scale today only to find that I have not lost any weight. But maybe it is because I went to my son's boy scout camp for 2 days, hiked well over 7 miles in that day, am super sore, bitchy, and THEN found out that I havent lost any weight. I KNOW muscle weighs more than fat, and that's usually what I build up first, but Man... it is so hard to not feel depressed over that NUMBER. that's all it is a stupid fucking number. IT's not the fact that I have been feeling great, phsyically. Its not about how my clothes are fitting a lot looser lately. Its about that fucking number and that drives me insane. Thanks for listening.

Weight Scale Victory!

I stepped on the scale today... and..... I have lost 2 pounds! I am so happy about this!!!! I know that you develop muscle and it weighs more than fat, so I wasnt expecting a huge drop in numbers, but I am very happy with 2. I know in the past when I have gone on exercise routines, that I gain a massive amount of muscle. So it doesnt seem like I am losing any weight when I am just gaining, but I can feel it in my body and the way my clothes fit.

but, YAY!

So I took yesterday off from the 30 day shred. I know. I know. 3rd day in and I take it off. But I had a good reason. It was really hot yesterday. And our house NEVER cooled off. I mean, it's not what Vegas and Phoenix and the like are going through (HOW, people? HOW????), but for a native northwesterner it was bad.

But I stand corrected. I decided that I wanted to take a shower tonight, as I have to be to work early tomorrow morning. and then I had a light bulb moment. WHy dont I do my workout that makes me super sweaty anyways and THEN take my shower. So I did. And I am getting stronger and stronger. I am really happy about that!

After my last workout (Wednesday), I was not sore the next day. But I took some muscle relaxers that night, so that might have been the reason. But this is all progress.

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My knees hurt

So I did the work out on Monday, was totally totally sore yesterday. I decided that I would start out doing just MWF for workouts. So I did it again today, Even though I was still super sore.

My knees are still sore when I try to do butt kicks or jumping jacks. So I keep doing the jogging in place, because that keeps my heart rate up and thats the point right? I will get there, I know it.

I was so sweaty after my workout today. whew! It was great!

So here we are.

I have been struggling with my weight since I was 15 years old. You see, I did physical therapy for 7 years as a result of a car accident. So I had a lot of lean muscle built up from that. And when I stopped doing physical therapy on a weekly basis, I failed to replace it with anything else. Because I was 13 and most of my life I knew as having to do physical therapy and I saw it as EVIL. It was something that I was FORCED to do. That I had to to get better balance because of the brain injury I had suffered. So what 13 year old do you know that wants to replace that with anything real? Yeah, me neither.

So the weight just started to pile on. I remember at around 15 I broke over the 200lb mark. My doctor was worried and told me I had to do something about it. I remember I was 211. I managed to get down to 189 that time. And that is where I stayed until I was about 18. Then the stresses of life hit me. Hit me like a ton of bricks. and That was no good. THe weight just piled on. and on. and on.

I ballooned upwards towards 240. When I got married, I was 248. 2 months after I got married, I got pregnant. I went up to 283. And that is where I stayed. I tried diffrent diets and exercise plans. SOme worked. I lost 30 lbs. Some didnt work. Due to my accident when I was younger, I had always had a problem with my woman cycles. I had 21 days between when my period would stop and when my period would begin. and that was on a lucky month. So I went to my doctor and asked what could be done. SHe gave me the depo shot. Little did I know about some of the WILD side affects depo can have on a woman, because if I did, I wouldnt have ever gotten it. But man did the sideaffects hit me like a ton of bricks!

I had the shot in april. May I had a normal period. Then, 2 weeks later, in june, my summer of hell started. for 3 months, Three WHOLE months, I had 14 days where I was NOT bleeding. IT was terrible. I also gained 35 lbs. DOUBLE WHAMMY!

Anwyays, fast forward to present day. I am almost 3 years post op from my hysterectomy (funny story: The doctor who did my surgery said in all of his 26 years of doing these surgeries, that was one of the angriest uterus's he has ever seen.) I am down to 291 roughly.

SO today, I started the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. I am not going to lie: It was so hard. IT may be because I of course picked 3lb weights to begin with because I thought they would be challenging. I know it was because I have weaker knees due to my weight and just heredity and the cardio was really hard on them. But with a few breaks that jillian just told me to work through, I did it. I did the entire 30 minute work out. I was sweating like a pig afteewards, but I was like.... I DID IT. I did it!

People say that things get easier the more you do them, I am a big believer in that. The problem I have is believing that in myself. That I can do it.

But, I did the first day. I took that first step. And damn, it feels good.